what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
