i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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