I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we made out on top of his cat.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize