There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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