so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
When did angry sex become our thing?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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