two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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