Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize