I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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