How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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