are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
