Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
there is glitter all over my balls
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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