I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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