I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
