Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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