Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he thought i was a dude.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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