Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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