Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
