but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize