One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
