I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
