im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
