Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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