i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
