Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
