Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
