took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
