There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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