i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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