New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
