Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
