I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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