omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.