I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
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You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
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I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.