two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.