Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
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What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
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well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.