that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated