This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
People in love make me want to vomit
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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