I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
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All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
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We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.