I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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