oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.