I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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