So drunk, too bad you don't want this
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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