my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
