coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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