I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
