im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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