I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
