I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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