can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
