Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
