I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
