all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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