I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
