VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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