all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
