airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
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I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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I am never drinking with the goths again.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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