he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
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He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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