Welp...herpes.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
