I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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