She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
