I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
