not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
