Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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