i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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