i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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