And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
