Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
