OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Help. Why am I so naked?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
