Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
