We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
