I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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