the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
